Brenda's Saving Grace
by bsbgirl85
Summary: Dylan and Brenda pairing takes place in late Season 4. After Brendas arrest, Dylan and Brenda can't fight their feelings anymore. As Brenda struggles with life changes, Dylan comes to her rescue.
1. Author's Note

So I always wanted Brenda and Dylan to be endgame. I hated the Dylan Kelly story and no disrespect to the DK fans but this is for all the Brylan fans out there. This takes over at the end of CUFF AND LINKS.

This fanfiction somewhat follows the basic storyline but branches out. Kelly and Dylan will break up earlier in the season (Like, SOON) and Brenda and Kelly will not remain hostile with each other forever. Also there will be a falling out between Brandon and Brenda which results in a falling out with Dylan and Brandon. But will eventually reconcile.

Brenda/Dylan eventual re-pairing

Brenda/Kelly eventual repaired friendship

WARNING: There will be some dark moments in this fanfiction. (talks of cancer and suicide attempts) But I promise there will be a happy ending for Dylan and Brenda.


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

Post Brenda's hearing

_Dylan pulls into the peach pit parking lot and races into a parking spot. Kelly gets out the passenger seat slamming her door. Obviously mad, she begins her fast paced walk into the pit. Dylan follows suit._

**Dylan: **Look, I did what I had to do all right? It had nothing to do with the fact that it was Brenda.

**Kelly: **Yeah you're just everybody's best friend.

**Dylan: **I said I was sorry, ok? Just get off it.

**Kelly: **Look I'm either number 1 in your life or I'm not going to be in your life.

_Dylan stopped walking and gave her a sharp look._

**Kelly: **What? Can you not handle that?

_Dylan shakes his head._

**Dylan: **You finally got a taste of your own medicine and now you can't handle it - it looks like.

**Kelly: **What the hell are you talking about?

**Dylan: **I know you weren't alone in this. Trust me, I blame mostly myself. But we hurt her. We destroyed her, Kel and she's never been the same since. Are you seriously going to look at me and tell me you see the same Brenda from JR year?

_She looked guiltily at him and shook her head. _

**Kelly: **No, she's never been the same since that walk.

**Dylan: **Exactly. Her light is gone, Kel. I destroyed her. And I have to live with that.

**Kelly: **WE destroyed her and WE have to live with it.

**Dylan: **Well I'm glad you're finally taking some responsibilty in this.

**Kelly: **Look, Dylan, where are you going with this?

**Dylan: **With or without you, Brenda is my best friend. She has been for 3 years. And she was always there for me, no questions asked. She saved me in a sense. You asked me to choose, I did. I chose you. And I've chosen you again and again but I'm not giving up Brenda as my friend and if you're asking me to do that then you're not being fair to me either. And if the tables were turned, she would have been there for me in an instant.

**Kelly: **Ok, let me ask you this. What if the tables were turned? What if you chose Brenda?

**Dylan: **What are you asking Kelly?

**Kelly: **Say you chose Brenda. And our roles were reversed. What if it was me in Brenda's situation? Would you have gotten up in the middle of the night and come down to my rescue?

_Dylan gives Kelly another sharp look_.

**Dylan: **Yes, I would have. But the situation would still be different.

_Kelly rolled her eyes._

**Kelly: **Why is that Dylan?

**Dylan: **Because I can assure you Brenda would not have turned her back on you and you know it!

_Kelly looked guilty_

**Dylan: **Brenda's not as strong as she looks Kelly. She breaks.

**Kelly: **You know this first hand.

**Dylan: **Yes, yes I do. And everyone has turned their backs on her, even Brandon.

**Kelly: **So What are you saying?

_Dylan rolled his eyes and turned his head._

**Dylan: **Just drop it Kel.

_Kelly's expression got softer. She reached out and touched Dylan's arm, which caused him to look back at her. When she spoke, her tone was softer too. And Dylan was actually surprised when he heard concern in her voice. _

**Kelly: **You mentioned Brenda hasn't been the same since - well you know.

_Dylan nodded_

**Kelly: **And you're right. She's not the same Brenda and not only did she lose you, but we've never been the same either. You know her better than any of us maybe except Brandon.

**Dylan: **I do.

**Kelly: **And you say she breaks.

**Dylan: **Spit it out Kelly.

**Kelly: **Be honest with me, Dylan. If you've only said one true thing in your relationship with me, Dylan I'm begging you, say it now.

**Dylan: **Ok.

_Dylan waited for her to ask him what it was she was going to ask and he braced himself to tell her the truth. But what she asked was the last thing he expected._

**Kelly: **Are you worried about her? Like honestly, truly worried about her? Are you worried she's going to break, Dylan?

_Dylan sighed with relief but he nodded his head._

**Dylan: **Yes. And when she does, no one is going to be there to pick up her pieces. And don't you dare try to stop me from preventing it.

_She worriedly nodded._

**Kelly: **Ok, I'm sorry.

**Dylan: **Yeah, me too.

_But Dylan was mostly sorry about letting Brenda down. Again and again. He was sorry about choosing Kelly because she was there that night at his fathers party and Brenda wasn't. He was sorry he chased after Kelly that summer Brenda was in Paris because Kelly was there and she wasn't. He was sorry he wasn't honest with Brenda and didn't tell her Jim was blackmailing him to get her to go to Paris and leave Dylan for the summer. He was sorry he chose Kelly because she was the easy way out. Kelly didn't have an overbearing meddling father that tried to keep them apart. He was sorry that after his Dad died and Brenda was there for him like no one else was that he didn't just end things with Kelly right then and tell Brenda that he still loved her and was prepared to fight for her. He was sorry that when she came back from Minnesota and he tried to kiss her when he took her fishing that he didn't fight her on getting back together. He was sorry that when he went to Vegas to follow Brenda when she went to elope with Stuart, when he was standing at that chapel that he didn't tell her right then that he was still in love with her. He was sorry that when their friendship blossomed again and he was helping her study for their poetry class that he didn't make his move and convince her to leave Stuart and get her back. But what he was most sorry for was when the planets had aligned up once again for them when Kelly was off with Brandon at the chancellors party and Brandon wasn't available neither was Kelly when she had called looking for her, there had to be a reason for that, right? OH GOD HE WAS TURNING INTO IRIS. But when Brenda called, he didn't hesitate to go pick her up. And what happened that night, no one knew about although he was sure Kelly suspected it, and they hadn't talked about it since. _

AUTHORS NOTE: I have the first couple chapters written so I might post chapter 2 in a day or two and if you guys like where it is going, I will keep posting every couple of days. Please like and review.


	3. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

FLASHBACK

_After picking Brenda up in Palm Springs, Dylan is driving them back to Beverly Hills. _

**Dylan: **I suppose you don't want to talk about it.

_He looked over at her depressed form while driving._

**Brenda: **It was supposed to be a romantic weekend with Stuart

_She looked out the window and he was glad because he was trying not to show his jealousy. _

**Brenda: **But I ended up seeing a side of him I've never seen before.

**Dylan: **Well Bren, you saw a side of me you hadn't seen before either when we first started dating.

**Brenda: **No, Dylan that was different. That was our first date and it was different, it just was. Do you remember when we went to Baja and I made that little mistake?

_Dylan smiled remembering and shook his head._

**Dylan: **Little mistake Bren? You forgot your passport? We were stuck at the border for hours!

_Brenda smiled at him and nodded._

**Brenda: **Yeah but no matter how things got, you were so understanding. We were able to put it behind us, even laugh about it. We ended up having a great time.

_Dylan looked away from the road and gave her a genuine smile like he used to when they were still together. _

**Dylan: **Yeah. Yeah we did. If I remember correctly, we found ways to pass the time.

_She smiled back bittersweetly almost having to remind herself that they weren't together anymore and that he was still with Kelly. Because every time they were alone together, she still felt a pull towards him._

**Brenda: **Well Stuart can't do that. I goofed and he couldn't let it go. It got pretty ugly, it's definitely over between us.

_Dylan looked at her quickly._

**Dylan: **Like over-over or over until we both cool down and talk about it?

_He looked over again and noticed her ring was gone. _

**Brenda: **No it's over, there's no talking about it.

**Dylan: **Gee that's too bad Bren.

_He figured he'd give her another week or two to get over the break up, Surely by then he and Kelly would have another explosive fight and be grounds for a breakup, and he could suggest seeing other people. He and Brenda's friendship would become stronger than ever again and he would move back into their relationship. He thought he had it all figured out but he wasn't prepared for her next admission. He was caught off guard and he still regrets the way he handled it. _

**Brenda: **Why is it that I can't keep any relationship going since I broke up with you?

_Dylan was quiet a few minutes trying to gather his thoughts. _

**Dylan: **I guess you just have to find the right guy.

**Brenda: **I had the right guy then I lost him. I've never really gotten over you Dylan. How am I supposed to find the right guy when I'm still in love with you?

**_(Oh wow that I was not expecting. Did she just say what I thought she said. Ok be cool Dylan) _**_Dylan thought to himself. He looked over at her then turned his attention back to the road._

**Dylan: **Look,Bren.

_Brenda quickly shook her head, suddenly embarrassed. _

**Brenda: **I know, I know.

**Dylan: **it's not that I don't love you, because I do.

**Brenda: **You're just not in love with me.

_Trying not to break down from the rejection she countered just as he was about to say something. _

**Brenda: **Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself over this whole Stuart thing.

_And that is exactly what Dylan was afraid of. Would he be a rebound? Was she only confessing her love again because of the Stuart breakup? That's why he was hesitant to tell her how he really felt. _

**Brenda: **I'm glad we're still friends.

_This time Dylan didn't hesitate. _

**Dylan: **So am I, Bren.

_Dylan took his hand off the wheel and held out his palm to her. _

**Dylan: **Hey you know David is having a get together at the apartment tonight. He's rechristening the place. Want to come with me?

_She weakly smiled, looked at him and shook her head._

**Dylan: **Oh come on Bren.

**Brenda: **Ok.

**Dylan: **Yeah?

**Brenda: **Yeah you know I can't say no to you.

_They smiled at each other as she placed her hand in his and he squeezed it. _

_The ride back to Beverly Hills, his mind was __in overdrive. He was kicking himself for not being honest with her. He had the perfect opportunity and he didn't take it. Now would it be too late? If he went with his original plan and broke up with Kelly soon, then came back to Brenda, she'd get suspicious. She would think he was doing it out of pity or guilt or that she was the rebound from Kelly. No Kelly and Stuart were the rebounds, Brenda was never a rebound. He was worried initially that if he told her he felt the same way about her and promised he'd end things with Kelly and come back to her that she would fear it was only temporary. That he just wanted to bounce between her and Kelly whenever he wanted. He knew she wouldn't accept that. He also knew she wouldn't accept being the other girl, that he'd have to end it with Kelly first. And he didn't want Brenda to think the decision was this easy with Kelly, that he was in love with Kelly when he was with Brenda. That wasn't true. Kelly was a physical thing. The minute he saw Brenda back from Paris he realized how much he loved Brenda but the timing seemed off and he was scared his admission would push her away more than bring her closer. He had to show his feelings slowly and subtly. _


	4. Chapter 3 (09-30 12:00:04)

CHAPTER 3

_Inside the Peach Pit, Steve, David, Donna, and Andrea sit around the gangs usual table. Sitting on the table is a small puppy. Brandon walks up to the table carrying a small bowl of water and sits it on the table in front of the puppy._

**Brandon:** Here you go Rocky.

_Brandon sits in between Steve and David. After a few seconds of coaxing, Rocky begins to sip and drink the water. Dylan and Kelly walk in and approach the table._

**Kelly:** Hey guys.

_Kelly sits in a chair beside Andrea and Dylan squeezes in to sit between Steve and Brandon._

**Donna:** Kel meet the newest member of the family, Rocky 2.

**Kelly:** Oh my gosh, he's so cute!

**Andrea**: Dylan, you want a new puppy? He can fetch you your newspaper, your slippers, anything you want.

**Dylan**: That's ok, I think I've had about all the domestic bliss I can handle.

_Dylan shoots Kelly a cold look and she rolls her eyes. Just then Brenda walks in, Donna looks up,_

**Donna**: Brenda!

**Brandon**: Hey Bren.

_Andrea looks uncomfortable as Brenda approaches their table, Dylan doesn't look up at Brenda and has a look of indifference on his face. He knew if he looked at Brenda, he wouldn't be able to hide his concern or care for her, and Kelly would be the first to notice creating WWIII just inside the peach pit. He would catch up with her later and check on her privately. Kelly looked up at Brenda somewhat uncomfortable as well until Dylan shot her another cold stare. Kelly's uncomfortable stare shifted to a somewhat concerned look, remembering the conversation she and Dylan just had regarding Brenda's stability._

**Brenda**: Don't worry all the charges have been dropped against me and I'm cooperating with the FBI so you don't have to be afraid to talk to me anymore.

_Dylan looked around at the rest of the gang, angry that none of them had been there for her. Andrea had a look of guilt and patted the seat next to her._

**Andrea**: Brenda sit down.

**Brenda**: No, I'm not staying.

_Everyone looked around at each other guiltily and Kelly looked up at Brenda._

**Brenda**: I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I put any of you in an uncomfortable position. I know you had to look out for yourselves and I know that some things stretched the boundaries of friendship.

_Dylan finally did make eye contact with Brenda. No words needed to be spoken. The look he gave her told her that their friendship had never been in jeapordy and she knew he would find time later for just the two of them to talk. It was like old times again between the two of them. Their eyes could tell a entire conversation between each other. She nodded and looked away from him to the rest of the group._

**Brenda**: I just hope none of you feel as alone as I have felt.

_Brenda walked away from the table and left the peach pit. Donna stood up._

**Donna**: Bren wait!

_Dylan and Brandon watched her leave, knowing the pain she was in_

**Donna**: I'll go talk to her.

**Kelly**: No I will.

_Kelly slapped her palm on the table and rose from it. The rest of the group watched as Kelly went after her._


	5. chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

_Kelly stood on the doorway of the Peach Pit back entry watching Brenda as she was unlocking her car door. She began to walk up to her and called out for her._

**Kelly**: Brenda?!

_Brenda had a look of annoyance at the sound of Kelly's voice._

**Kelly**: you ok?

_Brenda just shook her head as Kelly came up behind her._

**Brenda**: No I feel terrible Kelly.

_Brenda finally turned around to face Kelly._

**Brenda**: I feel like I don't have a friend in the world.

_Kelly gave her a look of guilt before answering._

**Kelly**: Yes you do. We're all your friends including me and especially Dylan. And I was a fool to stand in the middle of that.

**Brenda**: Yeah well you said some pretty awful things.

**Kelly**: I know. I'm so sorry. The green monster rears his head at really wierd times.

**Brenda**: you're jealous of me? Why? Kelly, you have Dylan. He chose you.

**Kelly**: Yeah well that was probably most likely a formality. And something tells me I won't have him forever. In fact, something tells me I won't have him much longer at all.

**Brenda**: Oh well you'll get back together you always do.

**Kelly**: So do you. Your breakups with him never lasted long.

**Brenda**: it's been over a year, Kelly.

**Kelly**: Brenda you truly had something together. What Dylan and I have is physical, yeah it's there but take that away, that's about it,

_Brenda pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. She didnt necessarily want to hear about Dylans sex life with Kelly. Although she knew her own sex life with Dylan had been very healthy and on a regular basis when they were together, even after her pregnancy scare, they still were having sex they were just very careful._

**Kelly**: No matter what, I can't help but think that you'll always be the one he remembers as the great love of his life.

_Brenda just shrugged._

**Brenda**: Well I don't know if that's true or not, but I've been jealous of you since I moved here.

**Kelly**: Well maybe we're even.

_Kelly went to lean against Brenda's car beside her._

**Kelly**: Brenda I know I was a bitch when you really needed me the most and I feel really bad.

**Brenda**: Good.

_Brenda nodded her head as she turned to look at Kelly._

**Brenda**: Dylan tell you that to bring you to that conclusion?

**Kelly**: Yes. But I'm glad he did. He needed too.

_They both smiled up at each other just as Andrea appeared at the back door._

**Andrea**: Brenda, you better come in. Your veggie burger is getting cold.

**Brenda**: What veggie burger?

**Kelly**: The one I heard Dylan order for you as I was coming out here to talk to you.

**Andrea**: Well you are a vegetarian arn't you?

**Kelly**: Arnt you?!?!

_Brenda looked at Kelly and Andrea and smiled and nodded her head._

**Brenda**: Yes. I am.

_Kelly and Andrea put their arms around Brenda and the three girls walked back to the Peach Pit._

**Authors Note**: So my first crush ever in this world was Dylan McKay. I was 11 when I started watching 90210 reruns. And yes I am strictly a Dylan-Brenda girl. I was a journalism major in school but this is my first ever fanfiction. Ive started a few here and there but never had the courage to ever post. There's a lot of amazing Brenda-Dylan fanfics out there but this idea came to me so I wanted to explore it. I didn't even know if anyone would even read it, you guys are amazing and totally make my day. Thank you for all of your wonderful comments.


	6. chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

_Steve, Brandon, and Dylan each carried handfuls of drinks back to the table where David, Donna, Andrea, Brenda, and Kelly sat_

**Steve**:To our favorite felon.

_Dylan handed Brenda a drink as the guys handed the rest of the drinks out._

**Dylan**: Yeah Bren do me a favor, the next time you get arrested, do it at a decent hour.

_Brenda looked up at Dylan and the look he gave her showed her he didn't care that she woke him up to go get her and his comment proved he'd be there for her again in an instant._

**Brandon**: There isn't going to be a next time isn't that right Bren?

_Brenda looked up at Brandon and Dylan._

**Brenda**: You know the night I spent behind bars, I kept thinking "if I only had 1 wish it would be to go home" it's good to be home.

**Brandon**: Here, here

_Everyone raised their glass in for a toast. Brenda was smiling at her friends when she looked over at Dylan. He was giving her that typical Dylan McKay look, a look she could never resist. _

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Ok, so I know the last few chapters were short especially this one thats why I posted all three of them at the same time for you guys but I will make it up with chapter 6, I WILL have Chapter 6 up as soon as I can, hopefully by the beginning of the next week. I am in the process of writing it. And there WILL be some Dylan-Brenda interaction alone, I promise!! Thank you guys for reading my story!!


	7. chapter 6

AUTHORS NOTE: So I said I wouldn't have this chapter up for a few days but I've been working on it all night. And I've decided to split it up into a few chapters so it's not overload. I'll be working on the next few chapters over the weekend and have them up as quickly as possible, i just felt I owed you guys some Brenda and Dylan.

* * *

_Dylan was walking out of his house when he opened his front door to see Brenda standing there with her hand raised in a fist as she was about to knock on his door._

**Dylan**: Oh - hey Bren!

_He couldnt help but smile as he saw her standing there. It took him back to when they were together and she would stop by to see him._

**_You're an idiot_**, _he thought to himself, **It's**_ _always been her, only her._

**Brenda**: Hi Dylan - I'm sorry, I should have called first.

**Dylan**: No. You know you can come anytime you want

_She pursed her lips together in an uncomfortable smile._

**Brenda**: Yeah I did but the last time I was here -

**Dylan**: Bren, this is my house not Kelly's and you're welcome here anytime day or night, you always were and you always will be. That hasn't changed, it never will.

_Brenda nodded her head._

**Brenda**: You were leaving though.

_Dylan softly laughed._

**Dylan**: I was. Funny story actually.

_Brenda eyed him curiously as to let him continue._

**Dylan**: I was leaving to come see you.

_Her face lit up._

**Brenda**: You were?!

_Dylan nodded._

**Dylan**: Yes. I was.

_She gave him one of those authentic smiles he loved._

**_Now there's my Bren_**, _Dylan thought.He held out his hand for her._

**Dylan**: Come on in Bren.

_She took his hand and he gently pulled her in, closing the door behind them. She turned around to face him, so they were looking at each other again._

**Brenda**: So why were you coming to see me?

_He gave her one of his 'Dylan looks' that only Dylan McKay could give her in a way that Dylan only looked at her as they walked in towards his living room._

**Dylan**: Come on Bren. You had to know I would come to see you after all of this to come check on you. Alone.

_Brenda nodded._

**Brenda**: Yeah I did figure that.

**Dylan**: Especially after your little speech you gave all of us at the Peach Pit.

**Brenda**: Dylan, I -

**Dylan**: Wait, Bren let me finish it's important for me to say this to you.

_She nodded._

**Brenda**: Ok.

**Dylan**: You said something about putting us in an uncomfortable position and that some things stretched the boundaries of friendship.

_She nodded._

**Brenda**: Yeah I remember what I said Dylan but -

_Dylan cut her off as he placed his hands on her upper arms._

**Dylan**: I am so sorry if you ever felt that way but I never felt uncomfortable. And our friendship has never been in jeapordy. Not on my end at least. I need you know that Bren. I mean it's imperiative for me that you know that.

_She nodded, trying to keep the tears that she's been keeping inside for days at bay._

**Dylan**: I'm glad you called me that morning.

**Brenda**: You are?

**Dylan**: Yes. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't come to me because you ALWAYS can, NO MATTER WHAT, Bren. You know that, right?

**Brenda**: I don't want to make things uncomfortable for you and Kelly.

_Dylan vigourously shook his head._

**Dylan**: Kelly can't tell me who to have in my life and you will always be in my life Bren. Always.

_He was studying her as he spoke. He could tell the whole arrest ordeal had taken its toll. She looked so tired, she was pale, even paler than her normal porcelain skin tone, and she was starting to form dark circles under her eyes. She looked almost as if she was going to break. He looked deep into her blue-green eyes and they were filling up with moisture. Her lips were trembling. He knew she wasn't as strong as everyone thought she was and and he knew she knew she could break with him. He softly took a piece of hair to tuck behind her ear and she closed her eyes and took and deep breath as he did so._

**Dylan**: Bren?

_She opened her eyes and looked up at him._

**Brenda**: Mmm?

**Dylan**: I was on my way out to see you but you came to see me too. Was there a specific reason?

_She looked deep into his brown eyes._

**Dylan**: You don't ever have to have a reason to come see me Bren I was just wondering if there was one.

_She nodded and her lips had gone from trembling to shaking now._

**Brenda**: I needed a friend.

**Dylan**: I'm right here.

_He caressed the side of her left cheek with his right hand._

**Dylan**: You know you're safe here.

_She closed her eyes again and nodded as he continued to stroke her cheek._

**Dylan**: Bren this has taken a lot out of you. You look so tired.

_Brenda nodded again as she opened her eyes_

**Brenda**: I am Dylan.

_He took his other hand and placed it in her hair as he studied her face. He knew her better than anyone and she couldn' t lie to him._

**Dylan**: You haven't been sleeping.

_Brenda shook her head as more tears were forming in her eyes._

**Brenda**: No.

_Dylan bit his lip for a minute but then just decided he was going to go for it. He looked down tenderly at her._

**Dylan**: Do you want to try to get some sleep here?

_Brenda looked up at Dylan. She knew what she wanted to say but she was scared. He looked down at her and gave her a look, mentally saying that she could tell him anything. At that moment, Brenda was about to break, she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't live without Dylan in her life anymore. The tears were starting to pour from her eyes, her lips were shaking and she nodded her head._

**Brenda**: Yes

_He pulled her in and she let him. He wrapped his arms around her slender body. She wrapped her arms around his waist._

**Dylan**: I'm here Bren. Talk to me.

**Brenda**: I didn't come because I needed a friend. I came because I needed you.

**Dylan**: I'm right here Bren.

_One of his hands moved back into her hair and began to stroke it softly. He felt her body begin to shake and he knew she was on the verge of a breakdown. He gently moved her towards the couch._

**Dylan**: Come on.

_He sat down and she sat down beside him. He held out his arm and she curled into his side._

**Dylan**: It's ok.

_He rubbed her back soothingly as the tears just came harder and harder._

**Brenda**: I don't know what's happening to me Dylan.

_He softly kissed the top of her head._

**Dylan**: I'm right here baby. You're ok here.

_She moved her head deeper and deeper into his chest and the steady beating of his heart calmed her._ _That and the fact that she was suddenly 'baby' again._

**Dylan**: You don't have to be strong here.

_She nodded into his chest. She couldn't stop the tears from coming._

**Dylan**: Just let it out baby. It's ok.

**Brenda**: Dylan!!

**Dylan**: Ssshhh baby, it's ok, I've got you.

_She began to sob uncontrollably._

**Dylan**: Just let it out baby, it's ok.

_She curled her whole body into him. And he held her protectively._

**Brenda**: I'm - so- rry

_She got out between sobs. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back soothingly._

**Dylan**: Don't be sorry Bren. It's ok.

**Brenda**: I - was - afraid this - was - going to - happen.

**Dylan**: Afraid what was going to happen, Bren?

**Brenda**: This. I knew if I came here, with you, that I'd finally break.

_She pulled away from him to look up at him but he was still holding onto her._

**Brenda**: I can't do this anymore, Dylan.

**Dylan**: Do what Bren?

**Brenda**: I can't keep pretending anymore. I've tried for so long but I can't do it anymore.

**Dylan**: You dont have to pretend anymore Bren. It's ok. But you need to get some rest.

_Brenda nodded. Suddenly the fatigue was taking over. She was struggling to stay awake. She leaned back against Dylan. He kisses the top of her head._

**Brenda**: Dyl?

**Dylan**: What Babe?

**Brenda**: It was real right? What we had? Kelly said what you have with her is only physical but what we had it was real wasn't it?

_He looked down at her stunned at what she was asking._

**Dylan**: Yeah it was. It always was, from the beginning. It still is Bren.

_She looked up at him, barely able to keep her eyes open. Dylan carefully lifted her into his arms and then lifted himself off the couch. He carried her into his bedroom and gently laid her on his bed. He grabbed a blanket and laid it over her. He ran a hand through her hair and reached down and kissed her forehead. She absentmindedly grabbed a hold of his hand. _

**Dylan**: I have to go take care of something. I'll be back as soon as I can.

_Brenda opens her eyes halfway_

**Brenda**: No. Don't leave me.

**Dylan**: I have to do this Bren. I promise I'll be right back. You sleep while I'm gone. I'll be here when you wake up.

**Brenda**: Where are you going?

**Dylan**: I have to go see Kelly.

_Brenda shook her head and rolled her eyes. _

**Brenda**: I should have known.

**Dylan**: I have to tell her it's over.

**Brenda**: What?!

**Dylan**: I have to tell her I'm still in love with you.


	8. chapter 7

**Authors Note: **

Ok guys Chapter 7 is here. I'm so sorry for the long wait. Life is kinda crazy right now and I have rewritten this chapter about 3 times, I wanted it to be perfect for all of you. I know several of you have messaged me anticipating this one. I love that you guys are loving my story and I hope you continue to like it, so here it is. The next chapter won't be near as long but I will have it up in the next few days.

_Brenda sat straight up looking at Dylan._

**Brenda: **What did you say?

**Dylan: **I said I was going to go break up with Kelly.

**Brenda: **No. After that.

**Dylan: **I said I was still in love with you.

_Brenda took a deep breath in and out._

**Brenda: **Are you? Still in love with me?

**Dylan: **Yes, Bren. I've always been in love with you. Always.

**Brenda: **But you chose Kelly

_Dylan sighed loudly and nodded,_

**Dylan: **And I've regretted that decision since the night I made it.

_Brenda sat up in bed and hugged her knees up to her chest._

**Brenda: **Dylan I love you, I've always loved you. No one else has ever mattered. Not Rick, not Stuart. It's always been you but I honestly don't think I could take it if we got back together and you went back to her again. Dylan I wouldn't survive it this time.

_Dylan leaned into her._

**Dylan: **Brenda I know you have no reason to trust me, but I'm begging you. I can show you that I'll never love anyone else but you.

**Brenda: **I do trust you.

**Dylan: **Ok then there's some things I need to tell you. They may be hard to hear but I think things would have been different for us if I had just been honest with you to begin with.

_Brenda nodded. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear some of the things Dylan was about to tell her but she knew if they got back together, they had to be able to trust each other. And she would also be lying if she sat there and said the only thing she wanted and needed in her life right now wasn't Dylan._

**Dylan: **The summer before you went to Paris - when we had to sneak around and you left your parents house to come here.

**Brenda: **Dylan I know.

**Dylan: **You do? I should have told you then. I just didn't want to come in between you and your parents, but I should have fought for you more.

**Brenda: **Dylan I knew they were sending me to Paris to keep us apart and if they hadn't sent me, then maybe none of this would have happened,

**Dylan: **No I don't think we're talking about the same thing.

**Brenda: **What do you mean?

**Dylan: **Bren, do you remember when I was ordered to show up at your Dad's office?

_she nodded._

**Dylan: **I don't know how to tell you this but your dad told me that if I didn't convince you to get on that plane to Paris then I would lose all my money.

**Brenda: **What? I don't get it.

**Dylan: **He brought up the fact that I was living with a minor. And technically I was performing statuatory rape.

_Brenda became pale. She was stunned. Dylan was scared she wouldn't believe him and take her dad's side. Things were good between him and Jim now and he didn't want that to change but if he wasn't honest with Brenda about that then he wouldn't be able to truthfully tell her why he chose Kelly._ _He looked back over at Brenda so a look of panic on her face._

**Dylan: **Bren? Are you ok?

**Brenda: **Oh my God. I feel sick.

_Dylan began to panic._

**Dylan: **What do you need? Do i need to get you to the bathroom? What can I do?

_Brenda smiled and shook her head. **Typical Dylan **She thought, always so sweet and caring when it came to her. She reached over and grabbed his hand._

**Brenda: **No I'm ok. Oh My God I can't believe he did that to us. To you, well I can as much as he was trying to keep us apart but to me?! He was hurting me!!

**Dylan: **I'm sorry, Bren, I vowed to myself I would never tell you. But I needed to tell you the truth, how all of this started, when we started falling apart, and I can't be completely honest with you and leave that part out. It was time to give you the complete truth.

**Brenda**: No I'm so glad you finally told me. Things are starting to make more sense to me now. I just wish you had told me then, we could have figured it out together Dylan.

_Dylan nodded at her._

**Dylan**: I know that. And I kick myself everyday for not telling you that night Bren. But things were already complicated with your family, and you had that family that I always wanted and never got. I never had a sense of family until I met you and Brandon. And I didn't want to ruin that for you Bren.

**Brenda**: I understand your reasoning, I do, I even appreciate it in a sense, you did it to protect me, you've always done that.

**Dylan**: That was my reasoning, my motive. But if I had known that it I was hurting you more by trying to protect you from that information, I never would have kept it from you.

**Brenda**: I know that, so what happened while I was in Paris?

_Dylan took a deep breath and sighed._

**Brenda**: It's ok, I can handle it.

**Dylan**: I never intended to ever have anything with Kelly. Ever. But I loved you so much, our love was so intense that it scared me. I felt like I was put in a position that I was almost forced to let you go, and I loved you so much that I wanted what was best for you Bren. I loved you so much that you being happy was more important to me than us being together.

_Brenda looked up at Dylan with the same love she always had for him. She reached over and touched the side of his face._

**Brenda**: Oh Dylan.

**Dylan**: I know I've told you this before and I'm not trying to sound like a broken record and I'm not trying to be cheesy but I absolutely mean it when I say it: I loved you more than I thought I could love anybody.

**Brenda**: I remember you telling me that. But you also said that was the problem.

_Dylan shook his head._

**Dylan**: I think I told myself that to justify the fact that we weren't together anymore when I told you that but now I know that kind of love doesn't go away, it follows you because I still love you more than I thought I could love anybody.

_Everything that had happened between them was forgiven in that moment. For him anyway. Kelly would take longer and a little more effort._

**Dylan**: That summer you were in Paris, I never meant to happen. You were there without me, I was stuck here without you, and I missed you so damn much, I couldn't stand it. I hated being away from you but I didn't want to make things worse for you either. I didn't want you to come back and nothing had changed for you and your family. Kelly and I started spending time together and it was only because she was here and you weren't but at the time it was an easy way out. I thought it would be better for you. But we decided you would be coming back and we would just go back to the way things were. In a way, I felt awful for letting you believe nothing had happened but the idea of hurting you it hurt me. And when you got back and I went to your house that night and I saw you for the first time since Paris. Bren that was it. That's all I needed, I knew right then that I never really wanted to be with Kelly. I only ever wanted you. You and Kelly were standing there on the stairs that night and the only person I saw was you.

_Brenda leaned forward and kissed Dylan. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. It wasn't their normal passionate might-lead-to-more kisses but one of their sweet kisses. They pulled away and leaned against each other's foreheads looking deep into each other's eyes._

**Dylan**: I miss you Bren

**Brenda**: Oh Dylan I miss you so much

_Dylan pulls her back into him and cradles her into his chest. He kisses the top of her head._

**Dylan**: Bren?

**Brenda**: Mmm?

**Dylan**: I need to go find Kelly.

_She pulled away and looked at him,_

**Dylan**: I need to go break up with her now so we can be together. I don't want to be without you tonight.

_She nodded._

**Brenda**: Is this really happening? Are we really getting back together Dylan?

_Dylan grabbed the sides of Brenda's face, and quickly but softly and lovingly kissed her._

**Dylan**: Yes Bren I was a fool on that trip back from Palm Springs. We shouldn't have let it gone this far. Don't you want to be back together?

_Brenda nodded again._

**Brenda**: Yes. I do. More than anything.

**Dylan**: But?!

**Brenda**: But I have a few more questions about the time we weren't together.

_He dropped his hands and prepared listen to her intently._

**Dylan**: Ok, that's fair.

**Brenda**: Did you sleep with Kelly when I was in Paris? I can handle it I just want to know.

_He shook his head._

**Dylan**: No we kissed, but I never slept with her. Not until after we were broken up, I swear.

**Brenda**: I never did anything with Rick either.

_Dylan looked into Brenda's blue green eyes and nodded._

**Dylan**: When you and Kelly asked me to choose, I had these visions of what my life would be if I chose either one of you, and when I envisioned choosing you I saw me coming home after a long day of work We had 5 kids and you were pregnant with one more and you were asking me to choose wallpaper for the baby's nursery.

_Brenda's eyes were wide._

**Brenda**: Oh. Well I can see why you chose Kelly then, that's enough to scare you away.

_Dylan shook his head and smiled._

**Dylan**: No. That's not exactly true. You haven't even heard about the vision I had about my future with Kelly.

**Brenda**: Do I really want to hear this?!

**Dylan**: Oh I think you might. We were broke because Kelly spent all my money

_Brenda rolled her eyes_

**Dylan**: She was angry because we couldn't go on a vacation and we were broke. So I bought her a necklace to make things better

**Brenda**: Oh well I'm sure that smoothed things right over.

**Dylan**: Actually no. It didn't because it was your birthstone.

**Brenda**: OH. So what did you make of the visions?

**Dylan**: Well I don't know, I think at the time it just confused me even more though it shouldn't have.

**Brenda**: What do you mean?

**Dylan**: Well now that I look back on it, it should have given me all the clarity I needed. Because you were there in both visions, the one about you we were happily married with 5 kids and 1 on the way, the 2nd I was unhappily married to Kelly and bought her YOUR birthstone. That should have made my choice right then and there.

**Brenda**: But there had to be a reason why you did choose Kelly and not me.

**Dylan**: Yes there was but it was a stupid one and it's one that I'm not proud of, ashamed of actually.

**Brenda**: Sex?!

**Dylan**: No, the night of my dad's party, Kelly showed up, you didn't. That's what my choice was based on.

**Brenda**: I was going to go Dylan. I wanted to, Dad wouldn't let me.

**Dylan**: Like I said, not a decision I'm proud of. She was there you weren't just like you were in Paris. If you had been there, hands down I would have chosen you, Kelly was the easy choice. She didn't have parents that didn't want us together, she didn't have a father that tried to keep us apart. Kelly could come and go as she wanted and it wasn't a problem. Like I said, it was a stupid reason to make that choice and it was an even worse choice to make. I regret it every day. I'm sorry Bren.

_She shook her head,_

**Brenda**: Amazingly I'm not even upset at you, actually I'm glad you told me all this. I have a confession for you too. At prom, I told you I was almost over you. I lied.

**Dylan**: So did I. And when you came here before graduation, if Iris hadn't shown up, God only knows what I would have done with you. When Kelly and I were in Paris we got in this huge fight, I tried calling you while I was there. If you had answered, I dont know, I wanted you to tell me to go to Minnesota where you were. If you had, I would've in an instant.

**Brenda**: I saw that look on your face the instant I saw you at the peach pit. I shouldn't have denied you at the pier. But later I remember when I was engaged to Stuart, you tried to talk me out of it and you said that if I married him, then there wouldn't be another chance for us.

_Dylan nodded._

**Brenda**: But then I found out my parents, my dad, put you up to it. And I felt humiliated. I felt like you used our relationship as a barter but really it was my parents wanting you to talk me out of it.

_Dylan shook his head._

**Brenda**: Your Dad did ask me to say something to you, to sway your mind, I didn't want to, I thought if I tried to change your mind then that would land you in Stuart's arms even quicker. But he said he thought whatever I said to you that you would take to heart. He did ask me to get you to step back and look at the relationship with Stuart and how fast it was going but what I said about if you married Stuart that there wouldn't be a another chance for us. That was all me, I meant that.

**Brenda**: Would you have stopped me at that altar?

_Dylan smiled at her._

**Dylan**: Brenda that's why I made the trip in the first place.

**Brenda**: But the night you picked me up from Palm Springs...

**Dylan**: I don't know why I made the decisions I did. Every time something didn't work out with us, I ran to Kelly. But Brenda I swear to you, that will never happen again. My relationship with Kelly was never like ours. All I did with Kelly, it was either sex or some explosive fight. But Bren what we had was real! Bren I didn't love Kelly, I loved you, I do love you, I'm still in love with you Bren. Sure we fought, but we always worked it out, and we always found our way back to each other.

**Brenda**: Isn't that what we're doing now? Finding our way back to each other.

_Dylan nodded and leaned into her and softly kissed her. She kissed him back. He slowly pulled away and looked deep into her eyes._

**Dylan**: I love you Bren.

**Brenda**: I love you too.

**Dylan**: You get some rest and I'll be back.

_Brenda reached forward and grabbed Dylan's arm again._

**Dylan**: Bren, let me do this then we won't have anything to worry about. Just you and me from here on out.

**Brenda**: Don't break up with Kelly tonight

**Dylan**: What?! Bren! I thought this was decided. You and me.

**Brenda**: Yeah. It was. It is. But do you remember what ended up happening on the way back from Palm Springs?

_Suddenly_ _Dylan lit up with a huge smile on his_ face.

**Dylan**: Seriously Bren?! You think I could forget that?

_He leaned into her._

**Dylan**: Bren that's all I've been able to think about.

**Brenda**: Yeah me too.


	9. Chapter 8

**Flashback**

_Dylan is driving Brenda back from Palm Springs. They had already had a deep discussion about their feelings - or rather Brenda's feelings. The two were quiet for awhile. But Dylan and Brenda kept stealing glances at one another. Dylan kept trying to decide whether or not to tell Brenda his true feelings._ He pulled up at a red light. Brenda looked at him.

**Brenda: **Look at me and tell me you haven't had any feelings for me since we broke up

_Dylan looked over at her, He shook his head._

**Dylan: **I can't do that Bren. I can't. Just give it some time, okay?

**Brenda: **What the hell does that mean Dylan?!

**Dylan: **You literally just broke up with Stuart, Brenda. You're upset. What if you change your mind?

**Brenda: **Like that's going to happen.

_The light turned green and Dylan drove on. He looked over at Brenda and he was about to lose his mind. He stopped at another red light _and Brenda turned towards him.

**Brenda: **Give me one more night.

_Dylan's eyes grew wide._

**Dylan: **What did you just say?!

**Brenda: **You heard me. Please Dylan, just one last night.

**Dylan: **Bren if you are asking me what I think you are asking me, you better be sure about this because I am about to stop this car right now.

_Brenda looked up at him seriously._

**Brenda: **The night we broke up, I remember I was walking out but before I could, you grabbed me and you kissed me. Dylan, You kissed me like you never kissed me before.

_Dylan nodded at her._

**Dylan: **Yeah I remember.

**Brenda: **Why was that?!

**Dylan: **I wanted one last kiss with you.

The light turned green but he just sat there.

**Brenda: **Yeah I know the feeling.

**Dylan: **Bren-

**Brenda: **Dylan give me one more night with you. One last night. Please. I'm begging you. No one has to know.

_Dylan didn't say a word. Instead, he did a U- Turn in the middle of the road and began to race back to his house. He sped into his driveway and slammed his porsche into park. He jumped out of the drivers side and ran over to the passengers side where Brenda had just gotten out and stood. He held out his hand, she took it, and they rushed to the front door. He unlocked and opened the front door and let her step in ahead of him. He slammed the door behind him and locked it. He turned to look at her. They wasted no time. He took her in his arms and kissed her ferociously. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. _He walked her back to his bedroom, undressing each other in the process. He gently laid her down on his bed, and quickly crawled on top of her where they proceeded to make love.

_A few hours later, Dylan and Brenda showed up at the beach apartment for David's party. As soon as Brenda showed up with Dylan, Kelly had suspicions. She was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Dylan to realize he had made a big mistake and go back to Brenda. She notices the way Dylan looks at Brenda, and realizes he's never looked at her that way - EVER._

**END FLASHBACK**

_Dylan and Brenda sat on his bed after reminisicing about that night after coming back from Palm Springs. Dylan had a flirtatious smirk on his face._

**Dylan: **Come on Bren, I know you better than anyone, except maybe Brandon.

**Brenda: **Oh I would say you probably know me better than Brandon these days. You've never neglected my feelings.

_For a minute, Dylan wanted to dive deeper into the sudden conflict of Brenda's relationship with Brandon. But he made a mental note to delve deeper into that later._

**Dylan: **Well my point is, is there a specific reason why you're bringing up our trip back from Palm Springs?

_Brenda leaned into Dylan. He wrapped his arm around her._

**Brenda: **I just want one more night.

**Dylan: **Bren, we're going to have a lot more than one more night. We're going to have every night for the rest of our lives.

_Brenda smiled hopefully, and for the first time in a long time, the light in Brenda's eyes had returned. _

**Brenda: **I know that, but I've been dreaming of this day for over a year and I just want to hold on to it for now.

**Dylan: **Kinda like Karma's a bitch?

**Brenda: **Honestly, that's not my intention at all.

**Dylan: **I know it's not Bren, because you're not like that.

**Brenda: **Tomorrow we can face reality and you can break up with Kelly.

**Dylan: **And tonight?!

**Brenda: **I just want you to myself tonight Dylan.

_Dylan leaned in and kissed Brenda softly and sweetly._

**Dylan: **You have me Bren.

_Dylan touched Brenda's cheek and looked lovingly into her eyes._

**Dylan: **You'll always have me, from now on out.

_Brenda leaned back into Dylan, and this time she iniated the kiss. _It started out sweet but quickly turned passionate. Dylan ran his hand through Brenda's hair the way he always used to. They finally came up for air.

**Dylan: **Bren-

**Brenda: **Show me how much you love me, Dylan.

_Dylan pushed Brenda back on the bed and got on top of her_. _He continued to kiss her passionately. _

**Dylan: **I love you Bren.

_Brenda swiftly helped Dylan pull his shirt off and tossed it on the floor as she pulled him back down to her._

**Brenda: **I love you Dylan. Make me forget we were ever apart.

_Dylan pulled his face apart from hers for a second with that smirk on his face_

**Dylan: **Oh I'll make you forget more than that baby

_She giggled as she pulled him back to her._


	10. Authors Note

Sorry to dissapoint guys but this is not a new chapter. I had posted the last chapter just before I went to bed last night. And my original plan was to get up early today, get started on my laundry and start writing the new chapter while my boyfriend slept (he is a police officer and works night shifts 3pm - 3 am). Unfortunately all hell broke loose while I, along with most sane people that sleep during those hours, was asleep. I woke up at 5 am and realized he never made it home last night. I called, no answer, I texted, no response. I then recieved an alert on my phone that there was an officer involved shooting around 2 am. He works street crimes unit and he often responds to more critical calls so I just had THAT feeling that he was involved, I called my Dad who is also a police officer and he texted me back saying he was busy and had been called out in middle of the night, so needless to say my mind was not in writing mode this morning, I did finally recieve a call that he was being discharged from the hospital. Just minor injuries, nothing serious, Thank You God. He finally got home around 830 am. He is ok physically but if any of you have officers in your life you know what my day is like today. Just doing what I can to be there for him without suffocating him. So the next chapter may be a bit delayed. If he can get some sleep, I will start writing today. Its all in my head just have to get it uploaded.

On another note, what did yall think of Riverdale, Ive watched it 4 times already and I cry harder each time. But it was so beautifully written and done. The Riverdale cast and crew did a fantastic job of honoring our Luke.

His family has been in my thoughts as his 53rd birthday was yesterday.


	11. Chapter 9

_Dylan and Brenda lay naked in bed, the sheet resting just above Brenda's bare hips. Brenda's head lying on Dylan's chest, her eyes closed. Dylan's arm wrapped around Brenda tight. He softly caresses her bare shoulder and places soft kisses on her temples. With his other hand, he runs his hand through her dark soft hair, something he always loved to do when they were together before. Brenda nestled her head against Dylan's bare chest, listening to the steady thrumming of Dylan's heart. Dylan looked down at Brenda to study her, and he nestled his hand in her hair._

**Dylan: **Bren you awake?

**Brenda: **Mmmh no.

_Dylan softly laughed and looked at her lovingly._

**Brenda: **I don't want to wake up.

He softly laughed again and sweetly kissed the top of her head.

**Dylan: **Go back to sleep then, baby.

**Brenda: **I was having the best dream ever.

_He looked down at her and continued to stroke her shoulder._

**Dylan: **And what was that Babe?

**Brenda: **I dreamed we were back together. And we spent the whole day in bed. Just laying here together. I don't want you to wake me up from my dream.

_Dylan laughed a little deeper._

**Dylan: **You werent dreaming baby.

_Brenda looked up at him sleepily_

**Brenda: **No?

_Dylan shook his head._

**Dylan: **No, Not unless we're dreaming the same dream and in that case you're right I don't want to wake up either. Not ever.

_Brenda snuggled in closer to Dylan, and Dylan wrapped his arm tighter around her._

**Brenda: **We're really back together?

_Dylan leaned down and kissed her_.

**Dylan: **We are. This time nothing will keep us apart ever again.

**Brenda: **And we've just been laying here all day?

**Dylan: **Well.. not JUST laying here, we've been getting our exercise in.

_Brenda sleepily smiled. __She moved her arm to wrap around_ _one side of his neck and nestled her face in close to the other side of his neck._

**Brenda: **Mmmm. Oh yeah.

_Dylan placed another sweet kiss on her temple as he playfully smiled at her,_

**Dylan: **Your memory coming back to you now?

_He lovingly caressed her bare back as he held her body close to his. Brenda looked up and smiled lovingly at Dylan._

**Brenda: **Yeah I think I remember something to that effect.

_Dylan leaned down and sweetly but hungrily placed lingering kisses on Brendas bare shoulder._

**Dylan: **So was it how you remembered it?

_Brenda gave him a cryptic smile._

**Brenda: **Actually no it wasn't.

_Dylan looked like a deer trapped in headlights. He was terrified._

**Dylan: **What?!

_Brenda then playfully smiled and nuzzled her head into his chest again._

**Brenda: **It was better than I remember it being actually.It's always better than the last time.

_Dylan sighed out of relief._

**Dylan: **Not funny Bren.

_Brenda's smile got wider._

**Brenda: **Maybe you should refresh my memory then.

**Dylan: **Well you dont have to ask me twice baby.

_Dylan swiftly rolled Brenda over onto her back where she was laying flat on the bed and he was on top of her._

**Dylan: **Now how do you want this reminder? Quick? or in slow motion?

_Brenda's bluegreen eyes flickered with passion yet pure love._

**Brenda: **By all means, take your time.

* * *

_Brenda lay in Dylan's arms, still slightly shaking from their passionate love making. They were both just coming down from their high of being with each other. Dylan gently ran his hands up and down Brenda's bare back, and sweetly kissed the top of her head as she let out a loud yawn._

**Dylan: **Go back to sleep Bren.

_He looked down at her._

**Brenda: **I'm sorry, I've just been so tired lately.

_He looked down lovingly at Brenda, and carressed his knuckle against her cheek as she sighed and closed her eyes._

**Dylan: **You're not off the hook though, Bren. Just remember that.

_Brenda looked up at Dylan questionly._

**Dylan: **Once the nostalgia of us being back together wears off, we have to remember to communicate with each other. Isn't that one of the things that always got us?

_Brenda tilted her head to the side of Dylan's chest as she looked up to him amd smiled. She nodded._

**Brenda: **Ok and what are we communicating about?

**Dylan: **Come on Bren, I know you better than anybody. And I know you haven't been yourself lately.

_Brenda took a deep breath as Dylan's words went right through her._

**Dylan: **Whatever you're telling everybody else may work with them. But this is me Bren and I know it's more than just the stress of the arrest and the trial. I've never seen you look this tired. It's in your eyes Bren, and maybe no one else has taken the time to look at or pay attention to the signs but I see right through Bren. It's more than just losing sleep over all this jail stress and you've never cried in your sleep before, not with me. So you get some rest and then we're going to talk about this. And you're going to tell me what's really going on with you.

_Brenda looked at him guiltily with tears brimming her eyes._

**Brenda: **I guess there was never any fooling you.

**Dylan: **Not where you're concerned.

_He gently ran his hand over her dark hair. And placed a soft kiss on the top of her soft hair._

**Brenda: **You said earlier when I asked if we were back together, that this time was forever.

_Dylan looked down at Brenda as she looked up at him and stared straight into his brown eyes._

**Dylan: **Isn't that what you want Bren? I don't want to be without you anymore.

**Brenda: **Yeah it is absolutely. Dylan, I can't lose you again. It will destroy me this time.

_Dylan tightened his grip on her._

**Dylan: **Baby you're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere this time, you and me forever. BREN.

_Tears were coming more and more to her eyes._

**Dylan: **Bren you have nothing to worry about. I never loved Kelly. I've only ever loved you. I mean that Bren.

_She nodded emotionally,_

**Brenda: **Yeah, no I know that Dyl. I know.

**Dylan: **Then what's going on Bren?

**Brenda: **Whatever it is, we'll get through it right?!

_There was immense worry and concern in Dylan's brown eyes. He nodded seriously at her,_

**Dylan: **Absolutely, Bren. Whatever it is, we're going to deal with it together and we'll get through it together. Whatever you're going through, I'll go through it with you. We'll face it head on - together. You don't have to do anything by yourself anymore Bren. You have me - you have me forever Bren. Whatever it is, it's going to be ok. There's nothing that you can't tell me.

_She looked down and buried her head into his bare chest again nodding. Dylan took his hand and cupped her chin pulling her face up to look at him._

**Dylan: **Look at me Bren.

_Her tear brimmed blue green eyes met his worried brown ones. The look in his eyes just confirmed everything he said to her. She knew it would be ok. She knew that now that Dylan would be back in her life everything was going to be ok. It wasn't going to be easy and they would have their hardships but they were going to get through it._

**Dylan: **Talk to me Bren. You can do it now or you can sleep on it, but you have to talk to me Bren.

_She sniffed and wiped her tear stained eyes as she looked up at him._

**Brenda: **Nothing I could possibly say to you would make you leave again?

_Dylan shook his head surely._

**Dylan: **No Bren. but you're starting to scare me here.

_Brenda took a deep breath and smiled_

**Brenda: **Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me?

_They smiled at each other as he nodded._

**Brenda: **Not the first time we told each other but the very first time you told me that you loved me?

Dylan smiled at the memory.

**Dylan: **Of course I remember. We were on your front steps. It was in the middle of preparing for the damn SATs and you had been acting wierd all week, kinda like you have been this week. And then you finally told me what was wrong...

_Brenda pursed her lips together._

**Dylan: **It was when you had that breast cancer scare. And you were going to have to have a biopsy. And when I told you I was going to be there with you, you thought it was out of pity and so I told you I loved you. You thought I was just saying it to you but what you didnt know was I had been wanting to say it to you for weeks. But I didn't want to scare you off. But I meant it.

_He reached down and softly pressed his lips against hers._

**Brenda: **And do you remember the first time I told you that I loved you too? The very first time?!

_Dylan smiled remembering._

**Dylan: **Oh yeah. Like I could ever forget that. You stormed off inside and I just let you go. I remember your dad telling me one time about his relationship with your mom that if you truly love someone, let them go. If they love you back, they'll come back so I let you go, I knew it wasn't me you were mad at. You just needed to process things. And I needed to process things. I wanted to be strong for you but I was going crazy inside. I was terrified, I was scared for you, but mostly I was scared of losing you so I needed to decompress. I went surfing. And when I came back home that night, you had left me a message. It wasn't long. It was only 4 words but it was the best 4 words you ever said to me.

_Brenda was staring in Dylans eyes smiling up at him and nodding._

**Brenda: **I love you too.

_Dylan smiled and nodded._

**Brenda: **I remember coming out of surgery and there you were. I had given you an out and you wouldn't take it.

**Dylan: **No of course I didn't take it. I love you Bren and as hard as it is to fathom, I love you so much more now than I did that day. You can give me a million outs, I'm not going to take them. Because we will never be apart again Bren, I promise you.

**Brenda: **It was ok then. It ended up being a benign cyst. But I found out then that I carried the cancer gene and that we might have to go down that road again and I remember you holding me on the beach that night and telling me when it happens again you would be right there for me, getting me through it no matter what the outcome would be,

**Dylan: **That's right, And I will if it comes to that. And this is a nice trip down memory lane Bren and nice try for the distraction But Bren what does this have to do with that talk we need to have?

_Brenda gave him a sharp look. Suddenly iy hit him and did it hit him, Brenda took a deep breath and exhaled sharply and loudly._

**Brenda: **Dylan...

_Suddenly Dylan looked as he had seen a ghost. His normal sunny California tan was paling by the second as he began to sit straight up. Brenda sat up and moved slightly away from him, hugging the sheet over her bare breasts,_

**Dylan: **Oh My God. This is what's wrong?

_Brenda silently nodded, looking down almost ashamed to look at him._

**Dylan: **It's happening again.

_Brenda nodded again, the tears reappearing in her eyes. She did look up at Dylan finally to see tears making an appearance in his eyes._

**Brenda: **I should go. You need to be alone.

_She turned to slide away under the sheet but Dylan quickly grabbed ahold of her upper arm._

**Dylan: **NO!! Bren, did you not hear a word I said to you, years ago or tonight? No one is going anywhere and we WILL get through this. Bren, listen to me.

_She emotionally nodded._

**Brenda: **You're not going anywhere?!

_Dylan shook his head. _

**Dylan: **No baby. Im not going anywhere. Not tonight. Not ever.

_He grabbed her face with both hands. She tearfully nodded at him. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead._

**Dylan: **But there is more we need to discuss, much much more.

_Brenda nodded up at him. He held out his arms for here._

**Brenda: **Now come here.

_Brenda didn't hesitate to fall into Dylan's arms. He wrapped his strong arms tightly around her. She began to shake._

**Dylan: **Ssshh, baby it's ok. It' s going to be ok, we're going to be ok.

_Brenda couldn't hold it in anymore and all her walls just shattered around here. The sobs were coming in hard and loud even more than they had the previous night, when she first came to Dylan._

**Brenda: **DYLAN!!!

_Dylan was trying to fight his own tears from coming and held her as tightly against his body as space would allow, so tightly together that they swore their racing hearts began beating as one against each other._

**Dylan: **It's ok baby. It's ok, you're going to be ok.

* * *

_Brenda sat on Dylan's couch wearing one one of his button down shirts and a pair of black underwear, her legs tucked underneath her. Dylan appeared from the kitchen wearing just a pair of plaid pajama pants and shirtless carrying a cup of hot tea. He walked over to the couch and handed it to Brenda. She looked up at him, smiling as she took the tea from him as he sat down beside her. She took a sip of the warm chamomile tea and sat it down on the table in front of them. She curled herself back into Dylan as held her close._

**Dylan: **When did you find it?

_Brenda took a deep breath._

**Brenda: **Right after I was released.

_Dylan had a look of terror on his face,_

**Dylan: **That's why you came over that night, to tell me,

_She nodded._

**Brenda: **Yeah but I shouldnt have. Kelly was right.

**Dylan: **No, Kelly was not right, and yes you should have. It's ok though because you're telling me now. So what now? Another biopsy? When?

_She shook her head._

**Brenda: **I already had the biopsy.

**Dylan: **AND?!

_She took another deep breath preparing herself to calmly explain to him what was about to happen to prepare him that their previosuly happy little world very well may be about to turned upside down._

**Brenda: **They did the biopsy and the 2 pieces of tissues were malignant.

_Dylan exhaled deeply fighting back tears._

**Brenda: **The Dr said to be hopeful and that they very well may have already gotten all the cancer in me. That that could be it.

_Dylan didn't look so sure._

**Dylan: **So what if it's not? They have to be sure Bren!

_She nodded calmly at him and placed her hand on his bare chest. She could feel his heart beating faster by the second. _

**Brenda: **They did a 2nd biospy in both breasts

**Dylan: **And what did they find Bren?

**Brenda: **They are more invasive tests, more elaborate, they sent them to a cancer specific lab. We're still waiting on the test results. They should be back in the next day or two.

_Dylan nodded his head, taking everything in, more calmly now._

**Dylan: **Ok, I want to be with you when you find out,

_Brenda softly smiled._

**Brenda: **You'll go with me for the results?

_Dylan grabbed Brenda's hands with both of his and held their joined hands in between their two chests._

**Dylan: **Baby, we're in this together. Yes, I will be there. We are going to get through this Bren, whatever happens we go through it together,

_She nervously nodded her head,_

**Dylan: **What's your gut tell you Bren?

**Brenda: **I feel different this time, Dylan. Not just mentally like I feel different this time. Dylan, I think I'm sick.

_He solemnly nodded his head._

**Dylan: **You look so tired, I noticed that last night, I thought it was the stress of everything else. You've lost weight too.

_She nodded at him._

**Brenda: **I don't feel good Dylan.

_He pulled her close to him_

**Dylan: **Oh come here baby.

_Brenda nestled her head into Dylan's chest and closed her eyes, breathing deeply._

**Dylan: **Kelly left on a girls trip with Jackie, Donna, and Felice today. They'll be gone for a few days. When they come back, I'll tell her everything. Until then, it's just you and me.

_He kissed the top of,her head. She tiredly nodded._

**Brenda: **Dylan what if i am sick?

_He looked seriously at her._

**Dylan: **Then we will figure it out together but i am not going anywhere Bren. I will be right there through everything, I promise you baby. we will get through this, we will fight it together. I'll be right here. I promise you,

**Brenda: **I'll have to do chemo or radiation, maybe both.

**Dylan: **Then I'll take care of you.

**Brenda: **I'll have to have surgery,

**Dylan: **I will be right there baby,

**Brenda: **Dylan, they might have to take one of my breast. Maybe both. I'll lose my hair. I'll be sick.

**Dylan: **Brenda look at me. I don't care. I did'nt mean that. I meant-

**Brenda: **I know what you meant.

**Dylan: **I don't care about any of those things. I care about you. I want you. I am not going to lose you Brenda so if they need to take your breasts fine take them, I'll buy you new ones. You need chemo, you do it. You need radiation, you do it, We need to go to some foreign country for an experimental drug, we'll be on a plane tomorrow, You are not alone in this Bren. This is OUR fight, we fight it together, ok? I will be with you every step of the way taking care of you ok?

_The tears were coming reguarly now and she was'nt even trying to stop them. She nodded._

**Brenda: **You and me?

**Dylan: **You and me baby. You and me, forever and for always. Until the end of time,

_He pulled her back into him and held her tightly to him._

**Brenda: **Dylan I love you so much.

**Dylan: **Oh baby I love you,

_He kissed the top of her head again. And looked down at her._

**Dylan: **How do you feel Bren?

**Brenda: **So tired, drained, weak.

_He gently picked her up and carried her back to his bedroom. He gently laid her on the bed._

**Brenda: **Don't leave me.

**Dylan: **I'm not going anywhere baby, I'm right here.

_He slid in next to her and he pulled her against his chest. She quickly closed her eyes and her breathing immediately got more even. She was asleep within seconds, He laid there holding her close to him praying she would be allright, because if he lost her, he might as well lose himself. He couldn't imagine a world without her. He didn't know if it would be possible to even breathe without her, But he quickle pushed those thoughts away. No everything would be fine, even if they got bad news, they would both fight like hell and she would get the best care that was available and he would take care of her himself. They were going to be ok. He wouldnt accept it any other way._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Ok guys here it is. I AM SO SORRY this took so long. This was not planned to take this long at all, I can't believe it took me a month to get this up to you guys. Thank you for being so patient, I know a few of you have been waiting ever so patiently for this one, but my life has been a crazy one since the last post. So since I posted last, my boyfriend like i said is a police officer and was wounded on a call so I was taking care of him. In the last month, my boyfriend became my fiancee officially and then my husband as of last Saturday. Also in the last few weeks, I discovered I was pregnant. I suffer from Lupus, PCOS, and endometriosis. We were told a while ago I would never be able to concieve a baby. We had accepted that, but almost two years ago I got pregnant and delivered at just 16 weeks. We were devastated and knew a baby was not in our future. And then this miracle happened. I say a miracle because we had our 15 week checkup yesterday and not only is our baby doing ok, but we were told we are having twins!! On another note, I have been SO SICK! And that is why it has taken me this long to get the update out. I have been diagnosed with hypermesis gravidarum. Which is a severe type of morning sickness that lasts all day and throughout the entire pregnancy and is common with twins or multiples. And as miserable as I am, I'll take it in order to have 2 healthy babies. They put me in the hospital on Saturday because I was severely dehydrated and are giving me fluids and IV nausea medication. Which is essentially why I got this update out. I literally had a bried break in the nausea so I curled up and went to town on this story. So just bear with me on updates, I will get them out as quickly as possible but each day is a mystery to me lately. But I definitly have a vision for this story, Dont worry Brenda may have some struggles, but everything will be ok and She and Dylan will have an happy ending I promise.


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